We’re all judgemental, but letting go of habit can help you develop stronger relationships. Here’s how to develop a non judgemental attitude.
Whether you want to admit it or not, we all make judgments. Sometimes we aren’t even aware that we are doing it.
Either way, being judgemental isn’t nice to the person you’re judging, but it is also harmful to you.
Whether you find yourself pointing the finger at others or criticizing much too often, you are damaging your relationships.
The good news is that you can change. You can shift your perceptions and develop a non-judgmental attitude.
These tips will help you get on the right track:
1. Develop the Habit of Observation
Judgments tend to come quickly and without warning. To help ward off these fast assumptions, develop a habit of taking time to observe before making snap judgments.
There is often much we don’t know about a person or situation. Stepping back and taking in the big picture could help you see an important fact that you’re missing.
Observation is closely related to mindfulness. Mindfulness allows you to relax and put things into perspective. By being mindful of the lives and emotions of others, you can become less judgmental and more understanding.
2. Ask Yourself Questions
A judgment made about someone rarely has to do with the person being judged. It’s usually more about the person doing the judging.
When you notice yourself being judgmental, ask yourself why you’re doing so.
Most judgments are personal. They’re often set off by triggers that cause you to become irritated, angry, or suspicious.
Triggers are words, actions, sounds, or visuals that set off an emotion in you. If someone’s facial features or the sound of their voice remind you of something in your past that you’ve learned to protect yourself from, you might react with judgment.
By taking the time to identify your triggers, you’ll be able to avoid judging and heal from past pain. You’ll start to recognize that your judgmental tendencies stem from your past, not your present.
3. Turn Every Negative Into a Positive
If you recognize a personality trait in someone that you don’t appreciate, try to flip your thought process and turn that negative into a positive.
For example, someone who you might judge as being too talkative in reality is just a very friendly person. A person who seems too ambitious could just be considered driven.
For every weakness, there is a strength. When you start looking at people in this light, you train yourself to use empathy and compassion instead of judgment.
4. It’s Okay to Have an Opinion
You have opinions, and that’s okay. But so do others, and you need to allow them to have ideas and make choices of their own.
Many of the opinions that you have come from the way you were raised, your personal experiences, and your own personality. No two people are the same. Even your own family members will have thoughts and opinions different from your own.
It’s also important to recognize cultural differences. Every culture has its own traditions and ways of thinking. We should not force our own culture onto someone else, nor should we expect someone to give up their culture when it makes us uncomfortable.
5. Follow the DUAL Method
Acronyms can help you remember a step-by-step process, and you can use the acronym DUAL to stop thinking in judgmental terms.
DUAL stands for:
- Don’t Pass Judgment
Basically, if you find yourself going down the judging path, stop! Observe your own thoughts and figure out why you’re doing so.
Next, try to understand the person and their unique situation. This might involve talking to them or learning their backstory.
Third, accept that person for who they are. Allow them to be themselves.
Lastly, you need to love the person without trying to change them. This doesn’t mean that you allow others to wrong you without repercussions. Everyone is allowed to have boundaries.
6. Stop Making Comparisons
No two people have been through the same challenges and pains. No two people have experienced the same accomplishments, family life, or friendships.
It is unreasonable to expect the same from one person to the next. Just as you wouldn’t expect two people to have the same thoughts, you can’t expect two people to have the same abilities.
What one person can handle physically, emotionally, or professionally may not be true of another. Don’t compare one person to the next because this will only cause unfair judgment.
The fact that you are reading this article shows that you want to take a more understanding approach to life. Recognition of our need to change is the biggest hurdle to overcome, and you’ve already done that.
The rest is just consistently making a conscious effort to align your thoughts, speech, and actions with your desire to do better.
Remember, you are trying not to judge others too harshly, so don’t judge yourself too harshly. With the practice of these tips, you’ll see a significant improvement in your attitude. Hope you love reading “Develop a Non Judgemental Attitude”
Karen Lein is the general manager of Copper Beech at San Marcos and Grove San Marcos. She is a Fresno State alumni and enjoys traveling and watching football. #GoDogs!
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