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Working On Your Marriage: Suggestions From A Relationship Counsellor

Look around you. So many married couples are facing problems. Separations and divorces are on the rise. Data suggests that divorce rates are increasing in almost all parts of the world. 

According to relationship experts, the following are the major reasons that are contributing to failed marriages- 

  • Breakdown of trust owing to an incident of infidelity
  • Inability to be on the same wavelength when it comes to sex and intimacy
  • Lack of any joint interests or time spent together
  • Professional and financial stresses that are not being dealt with
  • The collapse of all constructive communication

Having a successful marriage is tough. It is not one of those things that fall into place on its own. It requires conscious effort and hard work to make a marriage work. In this article, we speak to Cassandra Chiu, a relationship expert who offers couple counselling in Singapore

We request her to share some insightful tips and suggestions that couples can adopt to work on their marriage. If you are reading this article, you might be facing ups and downs in your married life. This article might just help you get your marriage back on track. 

5 Important Areas you need to ‘Work On’ to Improve your Marriage

  • Establish Open Communication Intentionally and Consciously-

When we refer to communication, we do not mean talk which results in one partner blaming the other. Establishing good and honest communication can help you become aware of the problems your partner is facing. 

You might not agree with everything that is being said. However, it will still act as a vital source of information and shed light on areas that both of you can work on constructively.

Communication is a process and not a one-time thing. You need to do it consciously by setting aside a time, day, and date for the same. 

  • Prioritize the Marriage Relationship over everything else-

If you are willing to work on your marriage, you need to make it your number one priority. This means putting it ahead of your children and your parents. 

Once you have set the priority, all actions that compromise the interests of your marriage will take a backseat. If you have to spend an evening together, do it. 

Don’t think about what will happen to the kids. make an effort to schedule those date nights, holidays, and vacations. In a marriage, your partner cannot always be at the receiving end of your compromises. Prioritizing helps marriages last. 

  • Acknowledge that there is a Problem and seek Help from Experts-

Being in denial that everything is alright is one major mistake that causes marriages to break down. There might be so many moments where you feel that both of you are unable to handle the relationship. 

Acknowledging that a problem exists is the first step to improving the same. If you are unable to deal with it on your own, there is no shame in reaching out to a relationship therapist or a couple’s counselor. 

They are trained, licensed, and experienced professionals who have handled similar cases to yours. They will be able to help you. 

  • Build Trust, Loyalty, and Faith in your Married Relationship-

We have already mentioned how infidelity is one of the leading reasons for the breakdown of marriages. One of the key ways you can work on your marriage is by building trust signals. 

This is obviously a two-way street. Couples need to decide what works best for them without being too intrusive or interfering. You need to take conscious steps to ensure that you do not get attracted to someone else. 

There might be moments of weakness that need to be dealt with to ensure that you are not doing anything to violate the trust of your partner. 

  • Create Channels for Intimacy and Sex with your Partner-

No two individuals are alike when it comes to sexual intimacy. In other words, we all have diverse sexual drives and needs. 

If there is an incompatibility in this regard, make sure to communicate the same to your partner. Work in constructive ways. Sometimes, women need to be mentally happy to engage in sexual activities. 

Talking to your partner on a nice dinner date, giving gifts, and showering her with compliments can be one way to get her in the mood. Talking about these things can allow confusion to be limited and not cause any problems. 

The Bottom Line

No matter how many years you have been married, there are always moments in a marriage that prove to be challenging. Building trust, establishing communication channels, and seeking help when required can all help in making your marriage work. If you would like us to offer any more suggestions or are looking for clarifications on any of the points mentioned in the article, please let us know in the comments below. 

Red Note: 30 September 2022

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